Shell Shocked
by hello-there-darling42
Summary: 6 months after the death of John (Tentoo), Rose makes her way back to the 11th Doctor in the original universe. But what happens when something goes wrong and Rose starts to die? Will the Doctor be able to save her in time?
1. Still Around

River should have known the day he whispered someone else's name in gallifreyan when he was with her. Yet she ignored it, brushed it off as an accident. For all she knew he could have been telling her he loved her, or she was beautiful, but she disillusioned herself instead. That was easier than the truth.

River should have known the times when he looked at her, but wasn't really seeing her. The times he'd grab her hand and run, smile at her for a second- a true smile- until it evaporated into a forced one. A smile that was filled with disappointment, longing. She always told herself it was just him coming to his senses about what was actually happening around them. That was a lie; it was just better than the truth.

River should have known when he flipped out about reading a certain book, the one with a candy wrapper as a marker. She tried to defend herself, saying it was just laying on the table next to the couch in the library and it looked interesting, but he refused. He refused to even listen to her and just scolded her for touching things that weren't hers. When she tried to put it back in the same place, even on the same page, he refused again. Saying that it was already ruined, another piece of her gone. He never told him who "her" was. She didn't really want to know.

Now River knew. She knew by the way he was looking at this small human girl with a whirl of wonder in his eyes. She was about thirty, but told him that she was around fifty and he gasped in wondered surprise. She laughed at him, and he laughed at her. A true laugh, not the half hearted ones he gave her so often.

It wasn't hard to see the Doctor was totally smitten with this girl, a girl who appeared to be aging much slower than anyone else- if she was even aging at all. A girl whose cheeks were flushed pink and skin glowing yellow, hair the same color. So she wasn't totally surprised when the Doctor had dropped the Pond's off at their house and River back at Storm Cage.

God knows what her husband was doing.

* * *

His previous shell shocked enthusiasm was gone as now his face turned serious.

"How did you get back, Rose? What aren't you aging?" He asked, arms folded across his chest.

"I stopped. I just stopped when I reached thirty. It took a few years for us to figure it out, but I just stopped and he… he kept going. Rapidly kept going, Doctor. It's been about 25 years for me and I look like you only left me five years ago. He aged so fast, he should have been almost 60 about now, his body anyways. He looked- he looked 90 Doctor. His brain it was just too much, and instead of burning he just aged. It just used up his energy or something, made his aging rate almost double." Rose choked out a sob now, tears running down from her eyes. He wrapped his arms around her and kissed her forehead before she continued. "And he just… he said he had to find a way for me to get back to you. He said you needed forever and that I needed you, and that it all made sense. He made me promise after… after he was gone I'd go. I'd go and I'd find you and stay with you if you wanted me to. Do… do you want me to?"

"I'll always want you to Rose," he whispered into her hair, kissing the top of her head. "I will never leave you Rose, I never intended for any of this to happen. I'm so sorry."

"'S alright… do you want to see how he did it? How I landed in the TARDIS? John… John said you'd be interested." She was trying to hold back sobs now, taking deeps breaths in and out in attempts to calm herself.

The Doctor nodded and stood up, outstretching his hand to her for her to lead him as he did. She took it and lead him into her old room, well maybe it was her room again. That is, if he still wanted her after all.

Rose pulled out a device inside of a black duffle bag that appeared to be bigger on the inside and handed it to him. He twirled it around in his hands, marveling at it all.

"It um… it's the TARDIS coral. Grown a bit, mind you, but we couldn't grow it all. Stopped it as soon as we realized. It was really starting to grow then, it's back to it's normal growth pattern. Thousands of years, as it should be. He found a way, John, to send me back by connecting the TARDIS's together since they're sisters. Big sister and little sister, and just a little Bad Wolf to help pull me through. Help me materialize right in the middle of your console room, ha! Imagine that, the thing that was going to burn me helped me live. Bit brilliant. Of course he was though, he was you… oh I'm rambling. That happens sometimes now."

"I felt it you know," he said, still looking at the technology wrapped around the coral. "You feel wrong in a way, not repulsive like Jack, but different than how you were. You're completely frozen in time, down to a single second. You'd live forever, undisturbed, but you can still die. I don't think you're nearly as fragile as a human though, more durable. Probably as durable as me, jumping down from 30 or 40 feet and surviving. Don't really know though, don't really want to experiment with it either. Completely unique like you always were, except more now. I could… I could run tests to see if you'd like."

He turned to her to see she was already staring back up and him and slowly she nodded her head. "I'd like to know."

"When? We can wait; a day, week, month, even a year if you really need. Or we can do it now."

"Now's good, before the nerves are gone." She said, eyes cast downwards.

"How long has it been?"

"Six months,"

"Do I need to tell you I'm the same man?"

Rose's lip twitched up slightly and she shook her head. "No, I think I've seen enough different versions of you to know you're still the same."

"Do you like it? How I look?"

She laughed this time, full and hearty with the sound ending with a tongue touched smile directed up at him. "All you can worry about is how you look? Well you're still not ginger, although you were for a while."

"Did I dye my hair?!" He almost looked panicked and touched the locks that were no longer brown and no longer stood up. "Why in the world would I do that?! I had great hair!"

"That you did, Doctor! But no, your hair started to lighten at one point and it just got all red and fiery. Called it Donna hair, you did." She said laughing until she abruptly stopped. Because he didn't did he? Not this Doctor. The human one did, John. She swallowed before continuing. "I mean you didn't per say, but you would have yeah? Or maybe that girl Amy, 'Amy hair'."

"Amy hair," he repeated, before capturing her hand in his. She looked down at their intertwined fingers and smiled. Using his other hands he grabbed a lock of blonde hair and twirled it in his fingers. "Rose Tyler hair is better."

"Your hair isn't so bad either."

"But really," he stepped back from her and twirled around. "Full analysis, I have to know. Do I have your approval?"

"Well still tall, always good. Pretty eyes, greens a nicer colour, nice hair still-"

"Better than the old hair?"

"I wouldn't go that far," she laughed and he pouted. "Still nice though, I like it. And the bow tie, bow ties are cool."

"I knew there was a reason I loved you." He smiled at her, but slammed a hand over his mouth as soon as he realized what he had said. "If that's okay if I do, I mean. I've fancied you for a while, since big ears and leather and now you're back- you're back and beautiful and so pink and yellow and wonderful and… And Rose. Yes you're Rose, how could I not? You're basically weaved into me at this point, I'd love you every regeneration. It'll never stop. I'm Rose obsessed, Rose addicted really. You don't have to say it back though, I mean I'm still a bit rude. Not as rude, mind you, but still kind of rude. A bit more alien than before too, I was getting domesticated by a certain blonde and her mother. But I didn't say it back then so you don't have to say it now, especially if you don't mean it. Not that I didn't mean it before! I've been in love with you since "run" and all after that. I mean i'm really glad I came back and asked, only took me a year or two- wait you didn't know that did you? I mean, Rose, ROSE, saying something!"

She was laughing harder than she was even before, tears coming out of her eyes. There was no sound coming from her mouth, only a few gasps for air every now and then before she managed to control herself after a full agonizing minute for the Doctor. He stood there staring at her, worry in his new green eyes until she smiled at him. There was a certain mocking expression hidden beneath the smiled though and he began to wonder if it was bad. If she was laughing so hard because how could she love him anymore? He wasn't the same, different man, different-

"Of course I love you, you daft alien."

He stood there, shell shocked, as she made her way over and gently pressed a kiss on his lips. "I'm Doctor obsessed, Doctor addicted really."

"Mocking me, are we?" He wrapped his arms around her and kissed her lips again.

"It's fun in any regeneration."

"Of course," he kissed her again, longer this and with a little more tongue. Honestly though, if they continued any longer he may just have her right here. Kind of wanted to have her since she appeared in the control room, shag her right against the control panel. Ooh, but that would be bad wouldn't it? Shagging her in front of his best friend, best friends husband (who were also his mother and father in laws) and his wife. Oh god River.

"Doctor?" Rose snapped him out of his thoughts. "You've been staring into space for a few minutes there, not even listening to my story about bowties."

He ignore that, and grabbed her hand, mind somewhere else. "Come on, let's get you fixed up."

* * *

"Rose please don't go, not yet, not so soon."

"Where am I going?"

"You're dying."


	2. The Ghost Of You

"What?"

"You're dying Rose, and I don't know how to fix it. It's locked up somewhere in our heads, connected together. You were pulled back to the TARDIS, yes, this TARDIS, all properly, but you're also in 10 other TARDIS's and different parts of time. 10 places where you can't possibly be. How did he not see that?" His voice was a bit frantic, and a bit angry as well.

She stood there, brown eyes wide, as she watched his run around the TARDIS. He spat out curses in gallifreyan, threw some things and even slammed his hands against the time rotator in defeat. All screaming at a dead man.

Eventually he heard a mutter from him, saying he was sorry and just needed time alone to think. She nodded and left the room, feet carrying her to the corridor while he stayed.

His hands were braced against the edge of the control panel, nails digging into the clear plastic of the ship until it started to hurt his finger tips. His face was down, staring at the controls in frustration as he tried to think of _something _that could save her. But nothing popped into his head until a familiar voice rang out inside the control room.

Soon a hologram was standing next to him, and image of his last self. He looked the same age as he had when he last seen him. The Doctor's brows furrowed in confusion. _Rose said he looked 90. _

"It's a perception filter if you're wondering, assuming she told you. Just makes you remember how you last saw me. I'm actually really old now, believe it or not. I know you figured it out by now, Doctor. I know why she's the way she is. Her time crossing over the void, and the time radiation coming off of the growing TARDIS just heated up the Bad Wolf particles basically and froze her. She's frozen in time, doesn't actually exist anymore, but she can still die. Like the TARDIS. And now she is dying."

The eleventh Doctor broke out in the rage and began to point his finger at the hologram, as if he could hear him. "Yes, she's dying because _you _clearly overlooked something. _You _sent her over knowing this would happen. She's dying because of _you!" _

"I know, it's my fault. I also know you can fix it."

"What?"

"She'll die, 10 other times before she gets to you. She's split up into pieces, each time she's saved she'll disappear and go back into our Rose. Let's call her Now Rose. If you miss one, if you miss more than half, she'll die. You can fail at maximum five times Doctor, do you hear me? That includes saving her right now, present day. 5 deaths to 6 savings. Not one more or she's dead. Everytime she dies she gets weaker, which will make it harder to save her when it comes down to you since she won't be able to run, amongst other things. She won't remember you up until our ninth incarnation. She'll always be just someone in the crowd, or crossing the street, a victim in the midst of saving people and things. You'll have to cross your own timeline in order to find her, you'll see her at one point every time. She'll be a girl who got hit by a car, a victim. Not Rose. She will _not _be Rose and you _cannot _mourn her, even if she knows who you are. That'll waste time and make it more likely to fail on the next one. I'll send you dates and coordinates to where she'll be. And Doctor." The hologram solidified and turned to look directly at him, voice becoming fuller than before. "Keep her safe."

The hologram switched off and the last remnants of his previous face had disappeared. He was staring at an empty face, the ghost of a dead man gone and lost. He really quite fancied that face though, despite the piles of dislike for the human version of him. Perhaps he liked it because _Rose _liked it. But she liked this face too didn't she? Not that it really matter, he was what she was stuck with, like it or not. He was never losing her again.

When the Doctor walked down the hall and emerged into Rose's room he was shocked to find it empty, and sent out a silent message to the TARDIS to guide him to her. The halls shifted in front of him, a curve going straight, several doors appearing and disappearing until it was just one. A single wooden door he was sure he had never seen. (Unless of course it was new, a sanctuary for Rose that he would have never thought of. The TARDIS fancied her like that). But as he creaked open the door his breath caught as he saw the blonde standing in the middle of a white room, talking to his past self on the wall.

Her head shifted towards the door quickly, but he was already tucked inside and hidden behind a wall. His ears scanned for her every breath and just waited until she started to talk again.

Rose turned back to the painting. "It's weird, seeing you so _young._"

"He's even younger, you know."

"Yeah I know," Rose glanced down at the floor, lip being worried between her teeth.

"What's wrong Rose?" The pinstriped Doctor looked down at her, a longing in his eyes to touch her, even though he knew he couldn't. It was Bad Wolf Bay all over again. "Don't you like him?"

"Of course! Of course I do, how could I not? I mean he's a bit eccentric, but he's lovely really. I just feel… bad. Terrible actually."

"Why?"

"My husbands dead and I run back to the Doctor? It's incredibly selfish. I could have gone anywhere, locked onto the TARDIS and left. I mean what if he's just keeping me here out of guilt? He may not even want me here, not really. I could've went to Jack, Martha, Mickey, Shareen maybe, tell her I just got some really amnesia. Tell her I met some great bloke and we got married outright, so I didn't come around for a while to see her. I'd tell her I was sorry, and I'd tell Jack and Mickey the same thing. And now he has to save me too because he has to save everybody doesn't he? What if he just doesn't want that? Doctor… Doctor I knew my husband. I know he was you- I know that's not the problem- but what if he's _not_?"

The man on the wall stared at her, clearly perplexed. "He loves you Rose."

"How do you know?"

"Because I don't think he'll ever stop. I never did."

Rose giggled slightly and nodded at the floor before looking back up to him. "I'll miss you though, you and that great hair."

"I _did _have great hair didn't I?" He grinned at her, the same manic grin her husband used to give her. She couldn't help it, the corners of her mouth immediately brighten and followed suit. The same goofy smile plastered onto her face as his. "Rose,"

"Yeah?"

"Promise me something,"

"Anything, Doctor."

"You'll love him just as much as you loved me. Even if I could never say it before." His face was serious now, warmth still peaking in his eyes though. "Because I suppose, since it's my last chance to say it. Rose Tyler I love you."

"Quite right too," she whispered back, a small smile on her features. It was a mixture of sadness and guilt, yet filled with something else. Something entirely more beautiful because she knew, that she could keep her promise to this pinstriped Doctor. She _would _love him, just as she loved him and his _great _hair and _manly hairy _hands.

The eleventh Doctor slipped further into the shadows, his ships providing another wall for him to hide behind. It was a good thing she was in a good mood today, he didn't feel like getting discovered eavesdropping on Rose.

Once she walked out of the room, the Time Lord breathed a sigh of relief as a voice called him over to the other room.

"You shouldn't eavesdrop, it's rude."

"Oi, and you weren't?" He replied tartly then shook his head. "Sorry, sorry, you're not him. You're _me, _sad and lonely old me."

"Not so lonely, got these guys. Although they don't make the best company, especially him." The tenth Doctor head flipped in the direction of the ninth Doctor who grumbled and mumbled something about 'thanking god he was dead because he wouldn't have to turn into those two pretty boy idiots.' "Also once you're up here, oh I probably shouldn't tell you this, but I will anyways. Once you're up here, we disappear, relive moments in our lives. We also get to create moments that never happened if we know the people around us well enough. It's taken from our subconscious, and created around us. I still travel with Rose. I never stopped."

"Sounds nice, some peace after it all."

"Oh I suspect it was all the TARDIS's doing, keeping our minds locked up here in these neat little frames. She's sweet that old girl, wants to keep her Doctor happen even after death. It's still all relative anyways. I'm still on this ship, sand shoes and pinstripes pulling up levers and bringing us to New Earth. Somewhere, hidden away."

He nodded and looked at the floor.

"You need to save her?" Ten asked him.

"Your clone is a sodden idiot. How could he risk Rose like that?" There was a certain rage in his voice, hints of The Oncoming Storm showing through.

"He knew you won't let her die."

"You think so?"

"You- we- would never let anything happen to her if we can help it. Now we can. You'll save her so much you'll be sick of it by the time you're done."

"Thanks," was all the Time Lord said as he left. The man in the frame disappearing behind him into his own little heaven of a 'the Doctor and Rose Tyler in the TARDIS how it should be.'

The Doctor slid down the door as he shut it and sat in the hallway. He'd save her. Yes, he'd save her. Most definitely he would save her. 100% positive he would save her.

Wouldn't he?


End file.
